To undertake my primary research, I spoke to a friend of mine who was the subject of domestic abuse. Here are the questions I asked her and the responses I received:
Why do you think he abused you?
I think he thought it was a way he could stay with me. He felt if he didn’t have absolute control over me then I would leave him. He was obsessed with the fact I would leave him or be unfaithful.
Why did you put up with it?
I was scared. He threatened me if I left that I would regret it. I wasn’t entirely sure what he meant but the way he said it made sure I knew it’d be bad. He ground down my self esteem and I felt I didn’t deserve any better…
Did he ever apologise for his actions?
Yes. Pretty much every time. He made me feel every time like it was going to be different. That he wouldn’t act that way again.
What were the excuses he gave for his abuse?
He said it was because he came from a broken home and he didn’t know any better. I know his upbringing was tough so I tried to help him through it. He had anger issues and he would take it out on me. I tried to help but I think I just made it worse.
How did he work down your self esteem?
He just constantly found negatives in everything I did. No matter what I did, there was always something wrong. I just didn’t know how to act and what to do.